HOW DOES THIS WORK?
The list of treatable issues on my homepage is actually just a handful of things CONTROL can help with. This is because the cause of one particular issue can apply to many other issues in the same way.
Example: You might come to me for weight loss. You’ll tell me that you can’t stick to a diet, or that as soon as you stop dieting you gain back all that weight and more. You just want willpower! The thing is, willpower isn't going to help at all, because it comes from the conscious mind.
Your subconscious mind wants to eat cake, and in this kind of battle the subconscious is always going to win.
SO WHY DO YOU OVEREAT?
It makes you feel better: a quick fix.
Why do you need a quick fix? Habit? Low self-esteem? Maybe as a child you were told you were fat, or stupid. Maybe you were bullied at school and turned to sweets for comfort.
Whatever the reason, at some point your subconscious mind learned that eating made you feel better, so whenever you feel sad you go straight for the cake. After you've eaten it, you feel disgusted with yourself. You didn't even enjoy it that much. You promise yourself you'll start your diet tomorrow, but now you feel sad again.
You're already craving another snack.
Emotional eating isn't about weight. I don't need to help you stick to a rigid diet; once the connection between food and comfort is broken, you’ll have a healthy relationship with food and lose the self-loathing that came with every binge. Your weight will start to normalise and you'll no longer be obsessed with clothing size and numbers on the scales.
WHEN YOU DO HAVE A PIECE OF CAKE, IT'LL BE A REAL TREAT.
"40 years of struggling with my eating habits and many diets, fitness regimes all scuppered, by me unconsciously putting food (chocolate mostly) in my mouth, picking up sweet things when shopping and eating them, then feeling bad about it straight afterwards. I can now just not do it.
I don’t have to even think “don’t do it!” it just does not occur to me to do it." —Maxine
So weight control is one presenting issue, but this can also apply to smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, nail biting, OCD, skin picking, hair pulling and self harm. There’s a part of the subconscious that’s just trying to make you feel better, and it learned at some point that the behaviour pattern you’re trying to change would do that. It doesn’t realise that it’s actually making your life worse.
My job is to help your subconscious understand this, and persuade it to change.
FEARS AND PHOBIAS ARE ANOTHER EXAMPLE.
You were bitten by a dog when you were 12, and now you have a dog phobia. Your subconscious is trying to keep you safe by avoiding ALL dogs, forever. Not a helpful strategy. Same goes for social anxiety; one embarrassing situation can end up as a need to avoid all social interactions. Now you’re also lonely, and you comfort yourself with food, drugs, gaming or any number of other things.
AGORAPHOBIA: something traumatic happened when you were out of the house, so the subconscious protects you by making sure you never leave the house ever again.
STAMMERING: as a child you were mocked and humiliated for something you said, or you had a secret you were terrified to let slip. Subconscious solution? DON'T SPEAK.
These "solutions" sound extreme but are actually quite common, and the good news is that they're not as hard to change as you might imagine.
WHAT THIS COMES DOWN TO IS THAT IT MAY LOOK LIKE A LOT OF DIFFERENT ISSUES, BUT I REALLY ONLY DEAL WITH ONE THING.
Your subconscious mind is creating a pattern of thought or behaviour that’s out of date, unhelpful and causing you distress.
In the consultation I'll ask you to describe the pattern you have now, and the pattern you want instead:
A) I am terrified of dogs
B) I am comfortable around dogs
A) I lie awake worrying all night
B) I am able to switch off at bedtime and sleep well
A) I feel anxious and embarrassed in social situations
B) I am relaxed and confident in social situations
Whatever you’re struggling with, my job is simply to get you from
A to B.